All my life when I thought about having a child of my own, I only thought of the great experiences that would be had. Getting to witness milestones like holding them for the first time, seeing their first steps, hearing them say "Daddy" for the first time, getting to take him to his first basketball game and so on. I mention all this because no one tells you that you will have to go through moments with your child that you wish didn't have to experience. In this particular case I am talking about Hudson having to get his Immunization Shots. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THEM! 

     Now I know that these shots are suppose to protect my child from all these crazy diseases that are floating around. But aren't there safer ways to protect our children rather than shooting them up with these vaccines? These are the things that I'm concerned with but we will not get into that here, that is a conversation for me and my wife. Being a parent now, I give everything the side eye. I don't trust anything anymore. Who the hell knows what they are trying to do to us now. Hell we are eating genetically modified foods that are causing cancer in millions of people around the world. That is why my wife and I pray against anything in  these shots that may be harmful to our baby boy! Anywho,  let me not get into that on this post and lets get back to why I hate these shots so much. 

     Seeing your kids reaction to these shots is the main reason that I hate them, then its how it makes him react afterwards. To hear your kid cry like you've never heard broke my heart the first time we had to take Hudson. Today we had to go back for his 6 month shots and I think this one was the worst. I was holding him while the nurse was giving him the shots and he was screaming and gave me this look as if to say "Dad why are you letting them do this to me? HELP ME!" I almost cried with him. (DAMMIT! I just got sad thinking about it again.) Those are moments that I wish I didn't have to experience. Those are the moments that you don't think about when you think about having a child of your own. We all know that getting shots sucks but to see your child have to get them is the worst. Then Hudson isn't himself after getting the shots. He usually sleeps for hours afterwards. Normally this would be a great thing but this isn't. Then when he wakes up he usually looks bummed out. My wife and I are so bummed out after these shots. Its like we have done our baby wrong. It takes awhile to shake the bummed out feeling. The only cure is to see Hudson get back to his wild self again.

Needless to say I welcome the day when Hudson is done getting shots. Until then I will stress and hate these days. 

Oh and he is teething! (Thats a whole other post) 

The other day I was looking through my books and came across one of my favorite childhood books. In The City (published in 1965) This book was the book my school (K. Anthony) used to teach us to read. All these years have passed and I still remember the contents of this book. The simplicity and repetition is the thing that stuck with me. 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE GREAT FATHERS OUT THERE

I have wanted to be apart of this day for day for a longtime now. On May 27th at 3:53am my son Hudson was born, making me a first time dad. Let me tell you about the day he was born. 

It was 3am, we were knocked out sleep. We were awakened by the sound of the doctors voice saying "It's time to have a baby!" A wave of nervousness came over my body and I wasn't the one having the baby. I started to pray that my wife would get through the birth of Hudson with no complications and for Hudson to be born healthy and whole. I thought by praying I'd calm down but that didn't seem to work. LOL! I watched as the doctors wheeled my pregnant wife into the operating room. I was told to sit outside the OR until  I was able to come in. It felt like I was sitting out there for hours. As each person would come out of the room to prep themselves I tried to hide my nerves. I don't think I did a good job. One doctor was like "Hey everything is gonna be great! And your gonna be a dad!" I gave him one of those nervous laughs. Then I started to think that in a couple minutes I would be a FATHER! I was gonna have a SON! OMG I'm gonna be someones DAD. Not long after a doctor opened the door and motioned me to come in. I was so nervous that I thought that I was gonna fall when I stood up. LOL! Everything happened so freakin fast when I got in there. Before I knew it I being told to stand up and see my kid being born. I can not begin to explain the feeling that overcame me when Hudson entered the world with that LOUD scream. Tears begin to roll down my face. I was in awe of the situation. I was now a dad to this grayish looking screaming kid. I was then asked if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord. I was like haha suuuuuure. So I nervously walked over to where Hudson was and cut the cord. Man that thing was thicker than I thought.